


Stuck On You

by metalouise (statistical_nightmare)



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alphabet problems, Banter, Clint is an overexcitable child, Crack, Gen, Gratuitous use of the word "Fuck" in a serious screenplay, Humour, I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE DEATH OF JARVIS, Ice, Idiots, Panic, Snow, Squabbling, The merciless nature of physics, ill-advised experiments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 23:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/statistical_nightmare/pseuds/metalouise
Summary: Steve is having a nice run / bitching session through snowy Central Park with Sam, when he gets a mystifyingly cryptic text from Bucky.He'd better hurry home, just in case. You never know what might happen in weather like this.





	Stuck On You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Puddingcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puddingcat/gifts).



They're the only people running through Central Park, the usual visitors evidently put off by the falling snow. With the sounds muffled and the absence of people, they've got enough privacy for Steve to complain about their latest mission. At length. Reconnaissance. He really hates reconnaissance. "It's just so fucking BORING."

"Yeah, I heard you the first fifteen times. You know," says Sam, panting slightly, as Steve laps him again, "for a guy who spent seventy years as an ice cube, you have a severe lack of chill."

Steve honks out a strangled screech and instinctively flails out his right arm. It catches Sam across the chest, sending him toppling backwards into the snow, cackling hysterically.

Steve attempts to glare at him, but the effect is diminished by the cheeky grin he can't quite suppress.

"You clotheslined me, you shithead!"

"Ice jokes require revenge, Wilson, you know the rules."

Sam wheezes and sniggers. "Your face. And you squealed like a little kid. Oh man. It was so worth it." He reaches out a hand.

Steve obliges, and grabs Sam's hand to pull him up.

As soon as he takes some weight, he knows that Sam is off balance. So he lets go.

Sam flops back into the snow with a wet thump, chilled melted snow soaking into his shorts.

"Ow, Rogers, you fucking - "

Now they've both got the giggles.

"I keep telling you guys, Captain America is just the costume. If you're going to dish it out, you gotta take it back."

Sam grumbles good-naturedly. "Yeah yeah, fuck off, you walking flag."

Steve snorts and rolls his eyes.

Sam gets up for real this time - _without help, thanks, Steve_ \- and brushes the snow off. "Oh man, that's unpleasant."

Steve gives him a 'reassuring' slap on the back that's hard enough to make Sam wince. "Aw, doll, it's only three miles back. I'll race you!"

Fucking supersoldiers. Sam winces at the feel of his soggy running shorts, and gives Steve a 'friendly' middle finger.

Steve adopts an exaggerated version of his Captain America Righteous Indignation face, because he knows Sam hates it. "You know - "

Steve's text alert goes off. It's the one dedicated to Bucky's phone, so he immediately checks it.

**CODE SIERRA FIVE - TOWER**

Sam can see Steve's previously relaxed expression flip instantly back to confusion and concern. "Trouble?"

Steve shows him the message.

"What the hell does "sierra" mean? Is this military alphabet? What does S stand for?" asks Sam. "Is this more of your old school comms?"

"Not a clue." Steve doesn't even rise to the 'old man' bait. The worry is tightening in his chest. Bucky isn't supposed to be on a mission today. Steve can't think of what the code might mean. Should he know? Is Bucky in trouble and relying on Steve to know what to do? Oh god. Has he failed yet again to protect Bucky? But how? He needs to do something. What does he do? What's going on? Has Hydra recaptured him? He can't lose him again he can't he can't he -

Oh. A different text alert. This time the message is from Clint.

**Barnes says the txt wz 4 Nat so dont worry**

"Huh," says Steve. He shows the screen to Sam. It's not the first time Bucky has done this - _Rogers_ is right next to _Romanov_ in Bucky's alphabetical contacts list. The cryptic message is still concerning though. And why is Clint replying, not Bucky himself? What's happened to him?

Sam is watching carefully, so he doesn't miss the way Steve is anxiously clenching and cracking his knuckles.

"Come on, Rogers, let's head back. There's nothing to panic about. Reckon if Barnes mentioned the Tower, they're probably there. And even if it is something other than Russian in-jokes - which it won't be - the Tower is the best place to start. Right?"

Steve looks pale, but does manage the reflex retort. "Bucky isn't Russian."

Sam silently congratulates himself for distracting Steve out of his thought spiral for a second. "Uh huh. Just breathe, Rogers."

Steve takes a shaky inhale and a shakier exhale.

Sam wraps his hand round Steve's sizeable bicep. "You're ok, man. It's ok. Stay in the moment. You can speed off ahead if you need to. I'm a grown up, I can get back on my own."

Steve gives him a grateful smile. "Thanks Sam."

Then he's sprinting off at full pelt, not noticing that he's coated Sam's face in a spray of kicked-up snow. Sam is now cold and wet from head to foot.

Resigned, he sets off in Steve's wake. Fucking supersoldiers.

\------

A deserted park means he doesn't have to dodge meandering tourists, so Steve gets back to the Tower in five minutes flat. There's no indication of anything being amiss. Staff are milling around in the reception area as usual, and there's no alarms.

Steve opens his mouth to ask when JARVIS speaks. "Good afternoon, Captain. If you are searching for Sergeant Barnes, you'll find him in the courtyard on the residential floor with Ms Romanov and Mr Barton."

"Thanks, JARVIS."

Steve's panic has eased off a little but he's still too keyed up to wait for the elevator. He takes the stairs to the residential floors three at a time. A minute later he bursts through the door to the private courtyard area. Clint is sprawled over Bucky as they lie on the floor, but they're - laughing?

Natasha is standing over them with her hands on her hips. Steve can tell that she's amused as well as exasperated. Nothing to fear here. He sags in relief. She obviously heard him thundering up the stairs, as she gives no sign of being in the least surprised by his sudden entrance.

"You're just in time, Rogers."

"What the hell is going on? And what's code Sierra?"

Natasha turns to face him, and can see now the remnants of suppressed anxiety in the tightness of his shoulders. She takes pity on him and gestures to the two men on the ground. "You can see for yourself. But don't take Barton by surprise. No sudden movements."

Steve by now is incredibly curious. He wanders over cautiously, stepping purposefully through the snow to maximise the creaking _skkrkt skkrkt_ sound as it compresses under his feet.

"Hey Buck, I got your text. I - "

Bucky is on the ground, lying on his back, twitching with repressed laughter. Clint is face down, half on top of him, but  doesn't look very comfortable.

"Clint, are you using Bucky's arm as a pillow? Why are you on the floor in the snow?"

It's suddenly too much for Bucky, who honest-to-god giggles. Steve hasn't heard him do that since the 30s. The sound makes his heart sing.

Clint throws up his middle finger in the general direction of where he assumes Steve is standing, but he doesn't - can't? - move his head.

Bucky gives Steve an ironic salute. "Hey pal. Sorry about the wrong number. I was a bit, uh, tied down."

Clint manages a resentful grumble, but remains face down against the vibranium arm.

Steve crouches down to assess the face/arm situation. He's close enough to see now that Clint is - licking? - Bucky's arm. He fights down a rumble of jealousy. But -

A suspicion is dawning -

Bucky obviously sees it on Steve's face, and starts cackling maniacally again.

Steve takes this to mean that he's on the right track.

"Barton... did you put your tongue on Bucky's arm - to find out - to - to find out if it would freeze there?"

Bucky can't help himself and howls with laughter, which must jostle his arm, judging by Clint's disgruntled squawks of protest.

Bucky grins widely up at Steve and his expression is so like it used to be when they were kids that Steve sits down next to him, magnetised, and grinning back.

"We were having a snowball fight - "

Clint garbles something like "Which I fucking won".

" - we were having a snowball fight and he leapt on me and we slipped in the snow and went down. Then he said - "

Natasha had evidently left unnoticed, because now she returns with a blanket and a microwave heat pack. She throws the blanket over the Clint/Bucky limb tangle and hands the heat pack to Steve. He's closest. Steve places the heat pack cautiously against Bucky's arm, close to where Clint's tongue is stuck to the metal. Clint reaches with his available hand to adjust the blanket. Bucky does the same.

There is a small scuffle over who gets more of the blanket. Natasha glares at them.

"ANYWAY," says Natasha, "this idiot says 'hey Barnes, your arm is really fucking cold!' And Barnes says 'yeah, you dumb fuck, it's made of metal'. And Clint says 'hey I saw someone do this on TV once!' and gets his tongue on Barnes's arm."

Bucky picks up the story. "And it froze there. Obviously. And we were stuck. So I texted Natasha - or so I thought - and then -"

"And then I abandoned a mission debriefing, and found these children giggling on the floor, covered in snow."

Natasha looks up, as if pleading with the heavens to grant her strength.

The sky obviously has some sense of dramatic irony, because it chooses this moment to start up snowing again.

Bucky gets a snowflake right in his eye, which he rubs at resentfully with his flesh hand.

"We're nearly there, Clint." Steve adjusts the placement of the heat pack and turns back to Bucky. "So what about the code?"

Barnes looks embarrassed. "Sierra is S. S for 'stuck'. Five means 'minimal injury'."

Clint emits a string of undignified and incoherent sounds which probably translate to something like "it doesn't feel fucking minimal to me."

Steve snorts, and ruffles Barton's hair in sympathy, but doesn't look away from Bucky's face. It's unusual to see him so relaxed. Steve reaches forward tentatively to brush off the snowflakes settling in Bucky's hair. Bucky smiles back at him. "Thanks, Steve. Look, I'm sorry we worried you." 

Steve's eyes go big and earnest. "Any time, pal. I'm just glad you're ok."

Bucky rolls his eyes at this sappiness, but he's charmed nonetheless.  

By now the vibranium has warmed up sufficiently for Clint to free his tongue from Bucky's arm. He bolts upright immediately, working his jaw and feeling his tongue with his fingers, checking for injuries. He's buzzing with relief. "Fucking ice," he says. "Thanks, Steve." Then he gets an idea, and smirks wickedly. "Barnes, you shoulda texted Steve in the first place. He's got decades of experience of being froz - MMFFFFFFHHHH - "

Clint is rudely interrupted by the handful of snow Steve is mashing into Clint's face. At the same moment, Bucky is ramming snow down the inside of his jacket.

"Fucking ice jokes, Barton, you fucking - "

They hear a throat being cleared, and look towards the doorway. It's Sam. He's wet, steaming slightly, sweating and out of breath from running back as fast as he could. He surveys the scene.

"This does not look like an emergency. What the fuck are you doing to Barton?"

Steve and Bucky, united in revenge, are now using their strength advantage to roll Clint in the snow, making him the centre of a giant snowball. Clint is whooping with glee. 

If you ignore the superhuman enhancements, it's easy to forget the painful events that brought them here.

Sam looks to Natasha as the only sane adult left. For a moment they watch as their teammates play like overgrown children. Natasha sighs, but it's affectionate. "Barton brought this on himself."

Sam smiles, rueful. "Hopefully he won't throw up everywhere." Then he gets it all of a sudden. "Ice joke?"

She nods. "Ice joke."

Sam laughs out loud. Then he shakes his head, and heads back inside to warm up. _Fucking supersoldiers._


End file.
